8 behaviors of people who are in a toxic relationship but refuse to admit it (2025)

When someone showers you with affection, you feel loved. When someone constantly criticizes you, you feel hurt. It’s basic human interaction, right?

However, relationships are not always black and white.

They’re a complex web of emotions and behaviors that can be difficult to interpret.

Some people are stuck in toxic relationships and refuse to see the signs. Often, this is due to 8 specific behaviors they exhibit.

Now, let’s dive into these behaviors and shed some light on the unseen aspects of love and relationships.

1) Denial is their armor

Denial is a potent force – it shields us from hard truths that we aren’t ready to face.

In toxic relationships, denial often acts as a protective armor.

It’s the comfort blanket that keeps people warm in the icy reality of their situation.

They brush off constant criticism as jokes, and neglect as the other person being “too busy.”

They find explanations for every red flag, refusing to acknowledge them for what they truly are – signs of toxicity.

But underneath this shield of denial, there’s a whirlwind of emotions. Fear, confusion, guilt – they’re all there, lurking beneath the surface.

People in toxic relationships often refuse to admit it because facing the truth means they have to deal with all these emotions at once.

And let’s be honest, who would willingly sign up for that? It’s easier to pretend everything’s fine.

But remember, pretending won’t solve anything.

Understanding and acknowledging these behaviors is the first step towards change. And trust me, it’s a step worth taking.

2) They rationalize the irrational

Oh, how I remember this one vividly.

In my past relationship, I found myself constantly rationalizing behaviors that were far from normal. My partner’s temper was bad, really bad.

But instead of acknowledging that as a problem, I’d tell myself, “Well, they had a rough day,” or “They’re just stressed out.”

I would excuse every outburst, every harsh word because I thought that’s what love was – understanding and accepting the other person, even their worst parts.

But let me tell you something – there’s a difference between being understanding and turning a blind eye to abuse.

Unfortunately, it took me a long time to realize that.

People in toxic relationships often find themselves in this boat, rationalizing behaviors that should not be excused.

And it’s not because they’re naive or weak, it’s because they’re trying hard to hold onto the relationship they once cherished.

But with time and introspection, I’ve learned that love shouldn’t require you to constantly justify someone else’s irrational behavior.

3) Their self-esteem takes a hit

Self-esteem is like a balloon floating in the air. It’s light, it’s radiant, and it lifts our spirits high.

But when that balloon is constantly pricked by harsh words and negative actions, it starts to lose its air.

It deflates, and eventually, it falls flat on the ground.

In toxic relationships, that’s exactly what happens to a person’s self-esteem.

The constant criticism and negativity slowly chip away at their confidence until their self-worth hits rock bottom.

Individuals in toxic relationships often struggle with low self-esteem.

They start believing they’re not good enough or that they don’t deserve better.

It’s heartbreaking to see someone lose their sense of self in a relationship.

But it’s crucial to remember that no one has the right to make you feel less about yourself.

Keep that balloon of self-esteem flying high, no matter what.

4) They’re always on the defensive

Defense mechanisms come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes, it’s a witty comeback to a hurtful comment.

Other times, it’s a wall built around the heart to keep the pain out.

For those in a toxic relationship, being on the defensive becomes second nature.

They’re constantly on guard, ready to deflect negative comments or behaviors that are thrown their way.

It’s like living in a battlefield where you’re always under attack. You never know when the next strike is coming, so you always have your shield up.

This constant state of defense is exhausting. It drains you emotionally and mentally.

But those stuck in toxic relationships often don’t even realize they’re doing it – it becomes an automatic response to their environment.

A relationship should be a safe haven, not a war zone.

You shouldn’t have to constantly defend yourself from the person who’s supposed to love and care for you.

5) They feel trapped

Feeling trapped is a common sentiment among people in toxic relationships. I know because I’ve been there.

In my past relationship, it felt like I was stuck in quicksand. The more I struggled to get out, the deeper I sank.

There were no chains binding me, no physical barriers keeping me in place. But the emotional entanglement was just as real, just as binding.

I felt like I had lost control of my life, and every decision I made was influenced by my partner and the relationship.

People often ask, “Why don’t you just leave?” But it’s not that simple.

Leaving requires courage and strength that you feel you’ve lost. It requires you to break free from the emotional chains that have held you captive.

But here’s what I’ve learned: feeling trapped is a signal that something needs to change.

And though it’s scary, it’s possible to find your way out and reclaim your freedom.

As they say, the first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you’re not going to stay where you are.

6) They become overly accommodating

In a healthy relationship, compromise is a two-way street. Both parties are willing to bend a little to meet in the middle.

But in a toxic relationship, one person often ends up doing all the bending.

Ironically, this is not always out of fear or coercion.

Many times, those in toxic relationships become overly accommodating in an attempt to keep the peace or to win the approval of their partner.

They say “yes” when they want to say “no”. They agree to things that they’re not comfortable with.

They adjust their needs, their preferences, and even their dreams to align with their partner’s.

This might seem like a noble sacrifice on the surface. After all, isn’t love about putting the other person’s needs before your own?

But here’s the catch – real love doesn’t demand you to lose yourself.

It doesn’t require you to constantly set aside your needs for the sake of others.

A relationship should be a partnership, not a one-sided sacrifice.

7) Their world shrinks

Imagine living in a vast, open world, full of people, places and experiences waiting to be explored.

Now, imagine that world shrinking down to just one person – your partner.

For many in toxic relationships, that’s their reality. Their partner becomes their entire world.

They start to isolate themselves from friends and family, often under pressure from their partner or due to their own feelings of guilt and shame.

They stop doing things they once enjoyed, they stop going to places they once loved, and they stop seeing the people who once made them happy.

The result is a life that revolves solely around their relationship – a relationship that’s causing them more pain than happiness.

It’s a sad state of affairs when your world becomes so small. But remember, you are not alone.

Reach out to those who care about you. Start rebuilding your world, one step at a time.

Because you deserve a life that’s full and rich, not confined to the limits set by someone else.

8) They forget their worth

This is the most heartbreaking part. In the midst of all the chaos and pain, people in toxic relationships often forget their worth.

They start believing they’re not good enough.

They start thinking they deserve the pain, the disrespect, the neglect. They lose sight of their value and their potential.

But here’s the truth – you are worth so much more than you think. You are deserving of love, respect, and happiness.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Your worth is not defined by how someone else treats you. It’s defined by who you are and what you believe about yourself.

Believe in your worth. Because you are, without a doubt, worth it.

Ending on a note of hope

If you’ve made it this far, it’s quite possible you see some of these behaviors in yourself or someone you care about.

That realization can be challenging, but it’s also the first step towards change.

Because being in a toxic relationship doesn’t define you.

It doesn’t diminish your worth, and it certainly doesn’t seal your fate. It’s a circumstance, not a life sentence.

Change is always possible. It might not be easy, and it might not be quick, but it is always within your grasp.

If you find yourself relating to these behaviors, take heart.

Acknowledging the problem is the first step towards positive change.

The next steps might be difficult, but every step you take brings you closer to a healthier, happier relationship with yourself and others.

You deserve love and respect – never settle for less. And remember, it’s never too late to rewrite your story.